When it comes to gender affirming voice training, this deeply personal journey is best paired with patience, compassion, and realistic expectations. Here, we’ll discuss realistic expectations and timelines and share some insight as you build your voice goals.
Freeing your voice is definitely possible, but it doesn't happen overnight. It’s a journey that requires time, practice, and an understanding of how your voice works, both physically and emotionally.
It’s been my professional experience, and perhaps contrary to popular professional opinion, that gender affirming voice training is not just about sounding a certain way — it’s about feeling: heard, aligned, and confident in your expression. For many, coming in with strong, and sometimes even inflexible ideals around how you want to sound, and/or basing these ideals heavily off of how you want to be perceived by others, can be detrimental to the growth process. We can always play with different tones and colours, and sometimes these might even come in handy; but ultimately, we want to free your voice rather than put on a voice. For example, I happen to love my “smooth radio jazz voice”; it’s low-pitched, soft and sultry, but if I'm being honest, this doesn't really reflect me. By contrast, my everyday voice is high and bright, excited and empathetic. It’s not for everyone, and although this may not be my favourite sounding voice, it’s the one that feels true to me and serves me well in my day-to-day life.
This path requires grace. There is usually an interim period where even though you are making great voice progress, it may not yet live up to your endgame ideals. Maybe you’ve found an excellent blend that feels and sounds like you, but you can only maintain it for 10 minutes at a time, or maybe you feel like your progress goes out the window when you see a friend across the street and call out to say hello. It’s okay to be here; and with a little compassion, and perhaps some support from an experienced voice coach, you will continue to progress.
Healthy Play
For my clients, one of their first responsibilities is to play! You should be able to safely experiment with your voice without the pressure to sound perfect right away. You might explore different combinations of pitches, resonance, weights and tones, or delve into articulation and intonation patterns.
All of this play and exploration is done mindfully and with health at the heart of it. It can be helpful to approach this with the support of a speech-language pathologist/voice therapist who focuses on gender affirming voice, as they can help guide you to play in a way that’s healthy and can help steer you away from potentially bad vocal habits and postures.
Pushing your voice to sound a certain way too quickly or without healthy foundations in place can lead to strain or discomfort, which can be frustrating and even counterproductive, but can also contribute to a deeper sense of disconnection and disappointment with voice.
The Importance of Setting Goals and Celebrating Wins in Timelines
One of the most common questions people have at the beginning of the process is, "How long will it take?" The truth is, the answer isn’t as clear-cut as you might hope. Each person comes with their own unique factors, such as initial voice skills, vocal health, and the comfort level they feel in practicing and experimenting with their voice in different environments.
If you’re wondering how long it will take to find a voice that feels completely natural and sounds effortless without ever having to really think about it, the honest answer is—it could take years. After all, you've been living with a certain voice for quite some time; it’s ingrained in how you interact with the world. It’s unrealistic to expect that your voice will change and generalize after just a few sessions, especially if this has been your habitual voice for many years. It’s like learning any new skill. We need to create new neural pathways and muscle memory, and we need to do this across a wide variety of situations. Over time and with consistent practice and approach, it will feel more natural and automatic.
The really good news? Positive change happens every step of the way. It’s easy to overlook the small wins, but by focusing on achievable goals that are specific to where you are in your voice journey, you'll not only feel more confident in your own ability to free your voice, but you'll also feel more connected to it. Rather than expecting dramatic change overnight, it’s crucial to set realistic, attainable goals that match where you are in your voice training journey. When you’re starting out, your goals might centre on exploration and playing with vocal patterns that feel more like you.
Consider starting small with your target voice—think brief interactions. For instance, aim to use your voice for one-minute greetings at work three times a day. This is an achievable, concrete goal that, when approached vocally and emotionally prepared, can set you up for success. Or maybe your goals are based around using a safe-sounding voice that aligns with your gender identity for brief interactions in public spaces—like a sentence or two, in situations where you want to feel more confidently perceived as aligned for safety reasons. This goal shifts away from needing voice to sound to completely like you, and instead asks that the voice serves you well in this situation. Now instead of looking too far ahead into an abyss of unknowns, we see the path forward. And working with smaller, clearer and more focused goals might take just a few sessions.
As you continue your progress, your goals will shift toward expanding your vocal range and flexibility. Consider how your voice changes in different contexts—ordering a coffee, having a passionate debate, or chatting with friends in a relaxed setting. Eventually, you’ll want your voice to be adaptable and reliable in all situations—whether at work, with friends, or in more intimate moments.
Once you've built a strong foundation in vocal skills and goal setting, much of your progress will happen outside of training sessions, as you continue to live with and use your voice in everyday situations. Small wins add up to big success!
Voice is a Lifelong Journey
One thing I always remind folks is that your voice evolves over time, and just as you continue to grow and change as a person, your voice will too. It is a reflection of you. Your voice accompanies you throughout your life, and as your life experiences change, so might the way you want to communicate with others. Your voice will naturally shift in various situations and also as you gain confidence, refine techniques, and simply live. The beauty of voice training in a holistic and playful way is that it gives you the tools to navigate this lifelong process.
Patience, Practice, and Progress
As you continue to work with your voice, try to focus on the process rather than the outcome, and don’t forget to celebrate the progress you make along the way! Finding your voice is not about achieving perfection; it’s about allowing yourself the grace to experiment, make mistakes, and slowly free yourself from the barriers that are keeping your voice from feeling authentic and empowering.
Your voice is a reflection of who you are, and by giving yourself permission to explore, experiment, and progress, you’re taking a powerful step toward embracing you.
Taking the Next Step
Ready to free your voice? Whether you're looking to feminize, masculinize, or neutralize your voice, we're here to help. If you're interested in learning more about how SpeechAppeal can support your gender affirming voice journey, try a free meet-and-greet. You can also visit our website for more information, learn more about Alyssa (she/her), our gender affirming voice coach, book an online intake appointment, or check to see if we have any gender affirming voice groups running!
At SpeechAppeal, you'll find unique expertise combinations in our clinicians - Registered Speech-Language Pathologists, Voice Therapists, Gender Affirming Voice Coaches and Clinically-Trained Singing Voice Specialists - here to support you.
SpeechAppeal is an Online Speech & Voice Therapy Clinic Supporting Adults Ontario-Wide
Eligibility: Ontario Residents